Young Women Who Say They Aren’t Feminists: Leave Them Alone



I actually don’t think we should shit on young women like Shailene Woodley for saying they aren’t feminists. 


It’s not her fault that she’s be taught the ‘wrong’ definition of that word. It’s not her fault that she thinks it’s socially dangerous to call herself a feminist. It’s not her fault that she doesn’t see the pervasiveness of sexism. Or whatever reason it is that makes her jump back in terror from that word.

She’s just following a very common cultural script. She’s trying to get along with everybody. She doesn’t want to alienate herself from mainstream Hollywood, or all the men in her life. She doesn’t want to be marginalized by siding with the marginal. She doesn’t get it. Yet.

A lot of us were “humanists” and “post feminists” and “antifeminists” when we were teenage babies. Part of it was denial. Part of it was ignorance. Part of it was fear of social rejection. Whatever. It takes a lot of blatant sexist bullshit for most of us to decide to get angry, and assertive, and annoying, and insistent, and “misandrist”. For a long time, that’s a very scary possibility.

And think. If that’s what Shailene’s image of feminism is…where has she been learning about feminism and sexism? Probably from a lot of sexist ass dudes and a ton of women who have internalized basic-ass gender norms. People have taught her to be afraid of that word. Have some sympathy. She’s a kid. 

If anything, shitting down her throat about how she doesn’t understand and needs to learn is going to confirm all her worst, least educated stereotypes about what feminism is, and what feminists are like. It will send her running…and not into safe arms, culturally speaking. Let’s not do that to her. 

Any young woman who pulls that “I’m not a feminist! I don’t hate men!” crap is obviously really, really afraid of losing their status with and among men in mainstream culture. And when we’re talking about a fucking teenaged celebrity, that really shouldn’t be a surprise.

So let’s not threaten her further, okay? Let’s not send her running into the arms of anti-feminism or someshit. What she’s saying is not worthy of belittlement. It’s a very common reaction to years of acculturation. Our job is to make feminist observations and information available, and safely accessible and understandable, so that when they’re ready, these young women can seek them out.

Telling people what to believe and how to identify is goddamned patriarchical. 

Dang Erika is always insightful.

(via daeranilen)






Joan Crawford in Possessed (1931)

82 years later and it’s still relevant

This will never not be relevant.

82 years and we still have to fucking tell men this shit

(via winwhal)


I’ve been a massage therapist for many years, now. I know what people look like. People have been undressing for me for a long time. I know what you look like: a glance at you, and I can picture pretty well what you’d look like on my table.

Let’s start here with what nobody looks like: nobody looks like the people in magazines or movies. Not even models. Nobody. Lean people have a kind of rawboned, unfinished look about them that is very appealing. But they don’t have plump round breasts and plump round asses. You have plump round breasts and a plump round ass, you have a plump round belly and plump round thighs as well. That’s how it works. And that’s very appealing too.

Woman have cellulite. All of them. It’s dimply and cute. It’s not a defect. It’s not a health problem. It’s the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels, and not having emerged from an airbrush.

Men have silly buttocks. Well, if most of your clients are women, anyway. You come to male buttocks and you say — what, this is it? They’re kind of scrawny and the tissue is jumpy because it’s unpadded; you have to dial back the pressure, or they’ll yelp.

Adults sag. It doesn’t matter how fit they are. Every decade, an adult sags a little more. All of the tissue hangs a little looser. They wrinkle, too. I don’t know who put about the rumor that just old people wrinkle. You start wrinkling when you start sagging, as soon as you’re all grown up, and the process goes its merry way as long as you live. Which is hopefully a long, long time, right?

Everybody on a massage table is beautiful. There are really no exceptions to this rule. At that first long sigh, at that first thought that “I can stop hanging on now, I’m safe” – a luminosity, a glow, begins. Within a few minutes the whole body is radiant with it. It suffuses the room: it suffuses the massage therapist too. People talk about massage therapists being caretakers, and I suppose we are: we like to look after people, and we’re easily moved to tenderness. But to let you in on a secret: I’m in it for the glow.

I’ll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.


What People Really Look Like  (via modernhepburn)

This makes me tear up. I spent quite a lot of my childhood on a nude beach, bathing suits were a fashion item, we took them off when they got wet and sandy. And yes, on the beach it is the same, saggy, wrinkly, lumpy, splendidly human.

(via eglantinebr)

This is fantastically beautiful, but I had to read it twice because initially after the first half all I could think about was what if when you squeeze dudes’ butts they make squeaky toy noises. 

(via vrabia)

(Source: jumbleofnotes, via machinedemon)



Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

(via itsachance)



this video was a ride from start to finish

(via charcoalmink)



When nude sheer material actually matches your skin, righteously beautiful things happen 😍😍

These girls are not playing this prom season



When nude sheer material actually matches your skin, righteously beautiful things happen 😍😍

These girls are not playing this prom season

(via art-and-sterf)

Tags: refs

(Source: comicmaybe, via winwhal)


Diversity in Writing


I did this post for Write on Com. Figured it would be worth sharing here also.

Diversity in Writing

by author Ellen Oh

Recently, I was part of a conversation where an author said the following: “But there’s been a lot of anger from some quarters about “appropriation” and “exoticism” … I’m terrified of incurring the kind of wrath I’ve seen online, and have decided I’m not qualified to tackle diversity head on.”

Guys, if this is you, then I want to talk to you about why it is okay to “tackle diversity.” If you are the type to say, “Yes, I want to include diversity! I just don’t know how.” I want to talk to you too, because there are right ways and wrong ways to do it. But mostly I want to tell you how important it is that you all are trying. Thank you for that. Because I was once that little girl scanning through the books desperately looking for someone like me, who wasn’t a stereotype. And now I have kids who are doing the same thing. Thank you for wanting to have this conversation.

But if you are scared about being called out for including diversity in your book, then wake up and smell the diapers, children, because you are not going to be able to make everybody happy. Someone somewhere is going to be offended for something you wrote and for a reason that you never intended! You wrote a girl empowerment book? How dare you put down feminine girls! You wrote about sexual exploitation? How dare you write a slut shaming book! You wrote a POC main character? How dare you white person try and exploit minorities!

Look, I’m Korean American and I wrote a fantasy book based in ancient Korea. I studied it for 10 years on top of all that I knew from being raised by Korean immigrants. And yet I had plenty of people bash me for getting things “wrong” about Korean culture in my book – and most of them weren’t even Korean! So the one thing I can promise you with absolute assurance is, someone somewhere is going to be irate at you for writing. Whether it is the fact that you wrote a POC character or the fact that you are posing in your author picture with a hand to your cheek, someone is going to hate you for something. Listen, you are not ever going to make everyone happy. That’s just human nature. I bet someone out there is reading this post right now and pissed off at me just because they don’t like my face. What can you do? You can start not caring about making everybody happy.

Now writing about POC is a bit different in that most people are afraid of being called a racist. So they avoid diversity because of it. However, let me reassure you that by not including diversity, you are also being called a racist. Maybe not to your face, but you are. And guess what? Being called a racist is nowhere near as painful as dealing with actual racism.

Now that I have freed you from the fear of being reviled on the internet, let’s talk about a few things that you need to keep in mind:

  1. Do your research and be respectful. Don’t culturally appropriate from POC and then claim that your world is different therefore you can do whatever the hell you want with it. Call your world whatever you want, but if your world looks and sounds like China, and you even use Chinese words and architecture and terms specific to that culture, then don’t pretend it’s not China and mix us up with every other Asian culture. It just reeks of sloppy research and not giving a damn. If you want your world to feel Asian without specifically calling out a specific country, it can be done – see Eon/Eona. See The Last Airbender series.
  2. Avoid stereotypes. There are many. The magical negro, the blonde bimbo, the smart Asian math whiz, the ghetto talking black kid, the feisty Latina, the Asian dragon lady, the cryptic but wise Native American, the uppercrusty WASP, etc. Using stereotypes is lazy writing. You don’t want to invest in your character’s development to go beyond an easily recognizable trope. Don’t do this.
  3. Exotification of another culture. “But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.” ? David Wong. I think the context of this quote was about women and how men view them. But it works well in this context also. If you don’t include POC in your book, you are dismissing them. If you do include POC but make them exotic and other-worldish, you are going the other way. Neither is acceptable.
  4. Check your privilege. Don’t get mad that I used the “P” word. I know privilege can be a touchy subject. Asking you to be aware of your privilege is not the same as calling you a racist. What I’m doing is asking you to be aware of it. If you are a female, then you know that male privilege is very real. Take what you understand as male privilege and make a correlation to white privilege and you will see what I mean. And if it helps, read this: http://ted.coe.wayne.edu/ele3600/mcintosh.html
  5. Reach out to minorities for help.  If you know nothing about the culture that you want to include in your book, then reach out for help. Yes, you can find a lot of information on the internet, but some things you can only learn from people who live that culture 24/7.

It won’t be easy, and it shouldn’t be! You will probably make mistakes. And that’s ok! You’ll learn from them and you will fail less and less the more you try. But the most important thing is that you try. Because you are writing for kids. All our kids! And they need to see that their books can reflect their world.

(via fuckyeahcharacterdevelopment)


I had the process images lying around so I thought I’d make a gif.


I had the process images lying around so I thought I’d make a gif.

(via artist-refs)

  • Assassin's Creed Unity: *no playable female Assassins*
  • Male gamers: This is just fine, so shut up! What's important isn't the character's gender, it's the story they are in! Who cares about the characters' genders? Stop trying to ruin other people's fun!
  • Hyrule Warriors: *10 playable characters, 8 of them are women*
  • Male gamers: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?! There are too many girls in this game! What about us, the male fans? Why the female fans have more options? Women aren't interesting, if you don't include more men in the game then the story will become boring!